To the Man who Broke my Heart

To the man who broke my heart. Thank you. When I was with you, I thought I had a good relationship with God and was strong in my faith. I thought I knew how relationships were supposed to be like. I thought you were a great blessing from God, because we bonded over similar trials we were both facing during our relationship. I thought I knew who I was as a person and as a child of God.

I thought wrong.

I was blinded by my feelings for you. I did not realize that you started to become an idol to me. I didn’t realize that I was putting my worth in our relationship. I didn’t realize that I was putting in more effort into our relationship than you were willing to give. I was so blinded by my feelings for you that I didn’t know that this was not an authentic relationship. It was based on imitation love (Leah Darrow, 2015), the love that takes, the love that hurts, the love not willing to make sacrifices. It was a love that was taken right out of a movie, one that was too good to be true, one that was rushed and led to a crash and burn. When things ended, I was heartbroken. I did not understand why things had to end. It hurt when we just stopped talking. It hurt even more when I found out how fast you moved on. It hurt to not get an apology or some form of closure. This broken heart took a long time to heal. But it is from this healing that I can now say to you that we don't talk anymore but that's okay. That I forgive you. That I am truly happy to see you happy. That I am happy to see that you have met someone who makes you smile, laugh and inspires you. I'm happy that you are moving on and seem to be healing from pain you experienced from certain trials you faced when we were together. Maybe one day, we can talk again, but for now, I just pray that you continue to grow and heal. Because I've met someone too.

Someone who also makes me smile, laugh and inspires me. Someone who is always there for me. Someone who I know will never break my heart, but if it does, this Someone knows how to put it back together. When you pushed me away, you actually pushed me closer to the Someone who never left me. He helped heal my broken heart. He loves me with an authentic love that always sacrifices and never lets me down. He loves me more than I could ever love Him and gives me more than you or any other man could give me. He took in nails into His hands and feet for love of me. He saw me worthy to die for, to be the ransom for my sins. He gave me His life and the promise to be with Him for eternity. I grew in my relationship with Him when ours ended. And as I’ve grown in my relationship with Him, I have discovered more about myself and who I am created to be. He has filled me with His mercy, forgiveness, love, joy and peace. He has given me life with a newfound purpose and meaning. You probably even know Him. His name is Jesus.

So, thank you for the broken heart. Because He helped put it back together and made it new to receive and give more love than I could imagine.