Miscarriage Made Me a Better Mother

            Last time I shared how my experiences with miscarriage have made me a better wife.  Now I want to turn my focus to the role miscarriage has played in making me a better mother.  Losing two children has a way of putting life, and especially parenthood, into a new perspective.  Quinn and Arwen have blessed my motherhood.  And as a result my purpose has shifted.  Let me share a few key changes that are shaping the way I raise our children.

I accept children as a gift from God.  The addition of children into a family is not something that can be completely controlled and planned for.  Neither are children owed to anyone simply because they desire them.  Children are purely a gift from God.  A gift to be received with open arms and open hearts, to be cherished for who they are, loved simply for being.  I trust God to plan my family.  As the woman God create me to be, I am open to life, to God’s beautiful blessings.  And there is freedom in choosing to live the truth of life-giving love.

I am honored to be a mother.  Parenthood is a privilege.  I am truly honored to raise our two daughters.  And it is precisely because I recognize what a great honor motherhood is that allows me to be humbled by its responsibilities.  Being a mother is so much more than physically birthing a child.   We are all called to spiritual motherhood.  And that type of motherhood comes with a loftier aim.  In order to rise to the occasion of motherhood, a selfless love must develop.  Service is at the core of the love of motherhood.  I am discovering the beauty of the vocation of motherhood.

I am more patient with my daughters.  Patience is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, and it is no coincidence that the most loving mothers grow in patience over time.  I am becoming more open to the graces necessary to live out my call to motherhood, accepting that I am not the one in control, and surrendering to the Will of God.  Allowing myself to be an instrument of God’s love in my family has provided the eternal perspective required for combating impatience in daily struggles.  There is much less squawking in our house, even when we are running a couple minutes behind schedule.  I am sanctified each time I choose patience and gentleness.

I share God’s love with my daughters.  Sharing the faith with our children has become my highest priority in parenting.  Being aware of the influence I hold as their mother gives me the courage to live out the faith in my daily life.  Making the most of the countless learning opportunities we are presented with each day is an adventure for sure.  I know what kind of legacy I want to leave behind.  Trusting in God’s love enables me to share it with my daughters.  As my relationship with Jesus grows, I desire to encourage our daughters to develop their own personal love for Jesus, and to share with them their place in the family of God.

            As I reflect on the ways my role of mother has transformed over the past year, I am so thankful that I am no longer content with being a “decent” or “acceptable” mother.  Experiencing miscarriage has allowed my eyes and heart to be opened to a truer call to motherhood.  My sense of purpose in parenthood has been renewed.  We read in Psalm 100:5 “good indeed is the LORD, His mercy endures forever, His faithfulness lasts through every generation.”  There is a part for me to play in making known the goodness of the Lord, in participating in His mercy, and sharing His faithfulness with the next generation.  And it is by the grace of God that I am becoming the best mother I can be.