His & Her POV on Marriage #M4MVoices

1. What are some of the beautiful things and the struggles of marriage? 

Stephanie: The most beautiful and the most challenging aspect of marriage that I have encountered thus far is...community. Beautiful in the sense that my family community has doubled, so to speak. When entering into marriage, it's not just marrying your spouse, but it's also marrying his/her family! In my marriage, I have gained not only a husband but a second mother and father, three sisters, a brother-in-law, two nieces and a nephew! And we are a family, a unit! They share their love with me so freely, and that has truly touched my heart in such a special way. But it's also the most challenging aspect. Vulnerability can be tough, especially when you and your in-laws come from two completely different worlds and cultures. It can be very difficult to enter into a different community.

Dominic: My joy is in the companionship. Having my spouse love me in my worst and supporting me during my growing process of become the man that God has called me to become has been amazing to always have her by my side. The best thing is this is just the beginning of our journey together. 

2. What did you wish you knew about marriage before you got married? What are some lessons that you have learned or some compromises that you have had to make?

Stephanie: A lesson we've both learned is that marriage is NOT about a 50/50 partnership. But rather, it's a 100/100 partnership, meaning I must put 100% of myself into my marriage. But at the same time, it is never truly going to be equal. Equal in the sense that we both do the same amount of chores or work. True love in marriage is not about how much I can do in order to earn back, but it's about how much can I lay down for the other without any expectation or sense of entitlement in what I receive back from my spouse. It's a total self-gift all the way, and even if your head knows this, it takes a while for your heart to truly begin to live it out!

Dominic: I wish I knew that marriage is not a destination but a process. I thought that once I got married, all my lifelong dreams would be fulfilled. But now I realize how unhealthy that is; to put that pressure on my spouse, that she has to satisfy all of my desires. 

3. What are some quirks about your spouse that you have noticed? 

Stephanie: He insists on blowing his nose WITH HIS HANDS in the shower, in order to save tissue paper! Gross! :p 

Dominic: Her sleeping position preference. Initially, I thought Stephanie liked sleeping on her right shoulder, so I gave her the left side of the bed so we could face each other. But then I realized she changes. Her actual preference is to be facing wherever the windows are facing, so she can see the sun when she wakes up.