Using Your Single Years Well
By: Lisa Dzikowski
When I was approaching my mid twenties, someone asked me, “Lisa, are you called to a vocation of the single life?” I desired to be married one day and have a family, but God had not yet revealed to me my future husband. I didn’t feel called to a lifetime of singleness, but I knew that until God unfolded His plan for marriage in my life, He had called me to live out my single life trusting and serving him. I thought for a moment about that question, “are you called to the single life?” and then replied, “Today I am.”
Every woman is called to be a light to the world, to use her gifts for God’s glory, to grow and be moulded into the woman He has called us to be; but as a single woman you have a unique opportunity to do this in a greater way. I don’t want you to miss it.
May I give you some sisterly advice?
I sit here today as a twenty five year old engaged woman. For the past two decades of my life I have had much unrestricted time—time to study, time to travel, time to discover who I am. When I was single, I discovered my gift for writing, my passion for dance, I grew in independence and saved every penny I had and traveled to 14 countries around the world and immersed myself in new cultures. But most importantly, I spent my days growing in my relationship with Christ and serving Him. I grew my campus ministry, engaged in pro-life activism and co-founded a women's ministry that is now bearing fruit. While I still make serving God a priority (and still take dance lessons quite seriously!), the reality is that my time and finances are more limited and I realize that it will be even more so once I get married and have children.
My friend Emily spent her single years well; she poured her life out as a missionary, and served those in need and engaged in more hobbies than she can remember. She is now married to a wonderful godly man with two beautiful children and she looks back at her single years with a peaceful and joyful heart. The years she spent growing her skills, serving her community, and sharing her talents, saved her much grief and bore much fruit for the Kingdom of Heaven.
Please don’t waste a moment of this precious and limited season. Travel the world if you can and visit those places you've always dreamed of. Get busy getting to know yourself; take dance lessons, go skiing, or learn a new instrument. Pour out your heart serving others and most importantly, be a student of God’s Word. Study actively, study devotedly, study willingly.
When you commit your time to growing in your relationship with God, you’ll store up riches for yourself and for your future that will bear fruit.
There are many incredible godly men out there clothed in the armour of God who are praying for a made for more woman. One who is pouring her life out to Christ and who is not turned inward in discontent in her singleness. Nothing would bring more joy to a man built in the armour of God than knowing his future bride was pouring her heart out for the glory of the gospel.
Food for thought: Not every single woman is called to be a missionary in a foreign country or called to travel the world, but that doesn’t make your calling less significant. God may desire you spend this season of your life serving your parents and siblings at home through your joyfulness. Maybe He desires you to spend your time getting a College education or shining His light in a nursing home. The most important thing to remember is: you have great value no matter what and what you do has everlasting value in God's heavenly Kingdom. Ask Jesus to fill you with His Spirit, and reveal His will for you at this season in your life. Keep your eyes open to His calling and ask Him to supernaturally equip you to spend these precious years joyfully serving Him.
In this video, Ben Stuart encourages us to see the season of singleness through God's eyes. In three minutes, Ben shows us that singleness is a gift from God to "secure a deep and undivided devotion to him" 1 Corinthians 7:34.