Tips for Your Engagement
By: Lisa Logan
Congratulations, You're engaged! Now what? One thing to keep in mind from the get-go is- you are not married yet. So how do you spend this time in a fruitful, faithful way that will ultimately prepare you for marriage? Well, to start, my husband and I did not have a typical engagement, mostly because we were long distance. Your engagement may look much different than mine did, but I am sure I can provide you with some tips. Engagement can be beautiful and challenging at the same time. Knowing that you have committed to spend the rest of your life with your beloved and waiting anxiously to start your new life together is very exciting. This decision also brings with it many temptations but they can be overcome with the help of the Holy Spirit!
To give your engagement to God and leave it at the foot of the cross will allow you to reap the rewards. It is possible to live out an engagement that is pure and godly, even in a culture that expects the opposite. It is the desire of God's heart that you experience this crucial season in your life to the fullest. It will make his heart overflow with joy when you, his princess, decide to place your engagement into his hands.
Whether you are currently engaged, or wanting some godly advice for when that time comes for you to be engaged, I will share some tips with you for this soon to be marriage time in your life.
1. Trust in God - He knows what He's doing
We didn't have a big savings account. We didn't buy a house. We planned out what the next few years would look like and where we were headed. We set goals and put a plan in motion to achieve them and we are trusting God with the rest. Our plans for what our life would look like after we tied the knot have changed several times, but God has remained faithful. We can see how he worked through our engagement and we know he will work even more so in our marriage. We're excited for what he has planned for us and we're so blessed by what he has brought us through. You don't have to have it all figured out. When the unknowns, trials and challenges come, you will face them when you get there. Pray, hope and don't worry!
2. Seek advice
There are so many people, especially many wives, that are willing to give you advice and pour into your marriage, but aren't sure you want their advice. I sat with a group of women at one of my bridal showers as they gave me advice. I am still using the insight I received on that day. There are also many priests, deacons and sisters that would be willing to give of their time to help you grow spiritually as a couple. My husband and I attended several retreats meant for couples seeking to grow in Christ and love for one another. When you’re looking to improve your knowledge of any field, you look to those with more experience. The same should be with marriage. Learn from other wives’ successes and failures and apply them to your own. Keep in mind that the best marriage advice comes from the One who created marriage in the first place, so grab your Bibles often! He is the author of true Love! Here are some book suggestions to prepare for marriage.
3. Talk about your expectations
The best time to do this is now, when you are engaged. You probably have more of them than you realize. The day we talked about our expectations for marriage was the most valuable conversation we had at our marriage retreat. Many of our expectations, hopes and dreams for marriage came from what we observed in our parents marriage. We realized that there was more we didn't know about each other's expectations than we realized. A lot of what you envision for your marriage will come from the marriages you've watched and your fiances vision will be different than yours. Talk about which ones are important, and study the Bible to know which ones comply with God's will.
4. Don't Stress
Don’t let the stress of your wedding cause tension in your relationship. Looking back, I can say I was more calm about the wedding than I anticipated I would be. Probably because many people told me the day would come and go and I took it to heart. I knew it really wasn’t going to be worth it to stress excessively. The time you spend worrying could be better spent praying for your marriage, reading books together. getting to know each other better, or studying God’s Word for marital insight. Remember you are getting ready for marriage, not just your wedding day. Your day will be amazing and beautiful no matter what because you are marrying your beloved! Nothing else will matter on that day.
Whether your engagement is long or short, whether you are long distance or not, this is the time to really draw near to each other and God. It can be a stressful time, but you are so blessed to have someone to share life with, to suffer with and to rejoice with. I hope these tips are helpful for you!
We would love to celebrate your engagement with you! Tell us when your big day is! If you are married, please leave more advice for the engaged couples in the comments below!