How I Found a God-Centered Romance
Over the years, I attempted to have God-centered relationships with men who didn’t have a vibrant walk with Christ. Guess what? Every time, it fell apart. I only realized after how important it was that the man I was to be with was to have a living, breathing, active and personal relationship with Jesus. Not just a relationship where we would attend Sunday Mass but a relationship where we were both pursuing Christ as number one in our lives, a relationship that was immersed in communion with Him. Without a passionate relationship with Jesus, my previous relationships were based on human energy trying to reach the heights of a heavenly and eternal romance. Without the power of the Holy Spirit working in both of our lives it was not possible.
So in my heart of hearts, I asked the Lord, "Where is he? Where is the man that you desire for me?" and He replied, "This is my time with you." I took this response to heart, and completely tucked my heart into His. After much heart ache and after spending too much of my own strength trying to finding a godly relationship, I finally surrendered myself to his will and timing, and chose to grow in intimacy with him. I decided I would abandon myself at his feet and take the steps I needed to grow spiritually. I decided that I would give him my everything no matter what that looked like. I allowed myself to be brought under God’s surgical knife. He had to remove anything that stood in the way of my complete surrender to Him.
One day, I chose to attend a Catholic conference for personal development in ministry and leadership. I went with the intention of learning more about service and developing my charisms. But additionally to learning more about serving Him, the Lord gave me an unexpected gift: the man of my dreams, at that conference. This man was there for the same reason, to grow in intimacy with Christ. To grow his gifts and learn more about serving the Kingdom of Heaven.
When I think about these early days of my relationship with a man that God has now blessed me with, I see how beautiful it has been falling in love and discovering his heart, but most of all I can see how much more I am falling in love with Jesus Christ. My romance with Jesus is enriched by my relationship, not diminished. The reason our relationship is growing fruit and growing strong is because it is immersed in Christ.
We both knew that God was calling us to something greater, something different. We decided that our affection, focus and conversations would be centered on Christ. We lead each other to seek more of Jesus. We share Scripture together and what God spoke to us that day. We share how He has been working in our lives and where He is leading us. We pray for each other and with each other. We read books and novels that impact our lives and help us to grow in love. We support each other in individual ministry and how God is calling us to serve together in the future. We participate individually and together in bible studies and prayer groups that will lead us closer to Christ.
I realize that the way we are building our relationship seems out-dated and restrictive. But I can tell you that this is the relationship of my dreams. Since Jesus is the center of our love, it’s a greater love story than found on the silver screen. No rom-com will ever script you a story rooted in love like one that’s built on rock that is Jesus.
So how did I find a Christ-centered romance?
Firstly, I was completely immersed in Jesus while patiently waiting for His timing. Here is the truth that many of us hesitate to believe: If God has called us to marriage and when the time comes for us to be married, God will write our love story. The Bible is clear that God wants us to depend on him and to surrender our desires. Jesus only did what the Father told him to do. He did nothing of his own accord. We see this in John 5:19, "Then Jesus answered and said to them, "Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner.” During the single years, we are not supposed to build our lives around the pursuit of marriage. The Bible tells us what we are called to pursue: “Flee youthful lusts, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace…” (2 Tim 2:22)
Secondly, I took a risk in faith. We both had past heartaches and had to be open to Gods will for us. Certainly Gods timing is perfect but we had to choose to pursue a relationship. It is a great idea to pray for our future spouse. Trusting God to write our love story doesn’t mean avoiding friendships with the opposite sex.
Remember that God cares more about this area of your life than even you do. He wants to be number one in your heart first but He also wants to bless you beyond all you could ask for. Just read Abraham’s story when Gods promise to him and Sara was fulfilled and be reminded of the loving and awesome God. When you give your heart fully to him, you're opening the door to a relationship with the One who loves you more than you can imagine.