Lying Robbed My Joy (Pt 2)
1. When we lie to ourselves about who we are, we narrow our lives to false definitions and facts. We prevent ourselves from living in truth of who we are. When we tell ourselves a lie to conceal the truth, we become bound by that specific fact as we continually define ourselves by that fabrication. The burden is still with us as we cannot accept what we have done. This refusal to accept ultimately results in our inability to forgive ourselves for our wrongs. Substantially, lying to ourselves is a setback in life since we are not able to embrace the vulnerable truth of who we are. We mask over the actuality of things and pretend that we are not at fault or that it could not have been prevented.
Loving God frees us from definition. Lying to ourselves limits us from living freely and entraps us in a world of self-delusion. We become caught and held in a life of mere definitions of who we think we are rather than experiencing the world. We suppress the things about ourselves that we are supposed to live through to pretend we are stronger and not vulnerable. But vulnerability isn’t a bad thing. We are called to so much more: to actively witness, imagine, and suffer all the instances that we come across in our lives. That is a full life. A lie with a firm definition of who we think we are oppresses us
2. Lying also denotes that we are unable to accept ourselves. Our actions suggest that we are in constant fear of getting hurt or facing an unwanted truth. This fear holds us back and disables us to fully come to terms with our own beings. We exert control over ourselves with barriers produced by definitions and facts, which keep us from existing in a life of truth and freedom. I was incapable of moving forward with my life with the refusal to accept my past and I became accustomed to this type of refusal. Lying to ourselves reflect the ways in which we think and act. It accelerates into a state of having no control over ourselves, and what we believe to be true eventually becomes a fact about us. For instance, if there is a particular moment that we feel restrained by people or circumstance, we begin to tell ourselves that we naturally suffer from nervousness and anxiety. In most cases, this may not be case but we feed ourselves with this type of lie to excuse ourselves from facing what we may be afraid of or uncomfortable with. We continually tell ourselves this fact about ourselves and it becomes a part of who we are without realizing it. We believe the version that we tell ourselves out of fear but fear enslaves, love frees.
3. Repeatedly lying to ourselves about who we are prevent us from changing our behaviour when we really need to. Our lies accumulate throughout the months and years of our lives through acts of self defense or excuses to continue our lives in a certain way. As the lies increase, we cannot piece the truth apart from the false things that we have told ourselves. Our behaviour becomes repetitive and we soon become unaware that we are actually generating false facts about ourselves. We become insensible to the lies since it masks over things about ourselves that we do not want to deal with. It alters into a method of obtaining satisfaction in our life. The way we present ourselves to other people is also affected by lying to ourselves. When we interact with others, we present them with who we want to be, not who we really are. We place barriers and embody different types of personas according to who we come into contact with. When we want to impress others, we present ourselves with an artificial exterior to fit others’ expectations. We are extremely polite, approachable, and dependent on their decisions and demands. We put on a disguise to become this way to eventually meet our goal. Our anticipation towards something or someone can lead us into fabricating who we really are to please others. We may not be as patient or polite as we wish to be; however, in front of others, we embody certain personas to achieve that desire.
Lying to yourself damages the heart. Although we lie to receive self- satisfaction, the failure to deal with the truth may result in a discontented life with repetitive cycles. The truth may not be what we necessarily want to face and we may hide these unwanted parts with happier facts. By not being able to fully accept our mistakes and wrongdoings, it disables us from forgiving ourselves. We begin to live in a self-deceived lifestyle that we eventually become accustomed to. Our masks become our face. We cannot peel it away as it becomes part of our identity. We cannot live freely and engage with ourselves and others in our lives because we do not know who we are. Lying to ourselves about who we are is something that we have all committed to at some point but we need to get over ourselves and believe the following: you are more than your past. You are worthy. You are loved.