Loving Till It Hurts (Pt 2)
Goodness is rare. We prey on goodness because we know how precious true goodness is. Goodness in its truest form is the most valuable connection that you can ever experience on earth as it is honest and selfless, just like how we were intended to be before the world “educated” us and corrupted our innocence. When we see those who are at peace and at joy with themselves, we also want a taste of that contentment. Goodness comes from within a person’s capacity to love. When God created the world, He made it for good, to reflect His image. For example, there are different extents of goodness where a good friend is more valuable than a good book but each has its own purpose. Everyone has their own expectation of goodness. One can never rely on human judgements so goodness to me is the way in which I relate to the divine, the essence of life. Goodness is when I am in communion with the divine, it is a foreshadowing of what heaven will be like and the people that exhibit goodness reflect what encountering God will feel like. Prudence also aids our pursuit of goodness as it helps us to reason as we discern true good in every circumstance and to choose the right means of achieving it. With the help of this virtue, we apply moral values to particular cases without error and overcome doubts about the good we achieve and the evil we avoid.
Facing our Brokenness
I have received and inflicted the frustration and tantalizing effects of loving those who do not know how to be loved. I was faced with rejection, isolation and could not allow my heart to be open again after realizing that the world did not always have my best interest at heart. But I found love in the oddest of places – my family and strangers. Through trial and error, they banded together and finally found a way to break through my tough exterior with love and understanding. I had my moments of insanity and extreme rudeness at times but I noticed that a few would be there at my darkest moments. Love as a means of service, not as a channel of reciprocity showed me my calling to love people with no expectations of mutual love. When I lay my heart bare in front of others, this is when I love most truthfully. Just because this love is true, that does not mean that it will feel good and be easy. It will always be uncomfortable and resoundingly similar to an amputation. Although you are not losing a heart or having it cut out of you unwillingly, you are offering your heart to a line of people who need you without promise that it will be returned to you in its prior condition. God stretched my heart and it tore open for all to see my brokenness. But God made my brokenness beautiful. He cleaned out the darkness, tears and pain from my heart and replaced the despair with His mercy and love. Through His love, I started to love myself.
I think I need to come to terms with my humanness, my responsibility to be good to my neighbour, and my desire for gratitude and appreciation. I am slowly learning to love myself and embrace my flaws. The importance of being comfortable in your own skin and loving your circumstance even if it is not perfect is so key to being happy. At times, we are called to sacrifice for the beloved, and take on the burden and dissatisfaction of loving the one who will not love us in return. I believe that living with integrity means knowing exactly who you are and always being that person without compartmentalizing that part of yourself with your other alter ego. Although it is possible to be a living anti-thesis where you are both spiritually free but also part of the world’s routine, there are certain things that you need to bravely stand up for. In order to be a good person and a noble member of society, one must have integrity and live with fortitude even if it is not a popular consensus in the world. Stand up for truth. Defend what is good, true and beautiful. I believe that even though I stand up for a value that is not largely advocated, I am doing my part in being my true self; even if it is in a small way, it is still radical and truthful.
Pay it Forward
Only a few sense that this cycle of apathy needs to be broken and fixed. I had to acknowledge that my life was made for more and that I wanted to start over with kindness. All types of kindness, whether it is towards family or to strangers, are performed by us for the feeling we receive when we do good as we desire the satisfaction and the reaffirmation of their own morality. We want to believe that we’re good people. When it is acknowledged that your life’s mission or values is noble, it gives you fulfilment, brings meaning to who you are and is a confirmation of your goodness and purpose. Being good affirms our humanity. So go and spread your light, don’t stifle your being, the world needs your life desperately!