Emotional Virtue Book Review

Sarah Swafford is a genius…with amazing hair. Sarah gives us “A Guide to Drama-Free Relationships” with great tips, lists and point of views that makes you wonder what Emotional Virtue really is and how to live an Emotional Virtuous life. Sarah Swafford gives us the answer to our burning questions. As a teenager, I felt that this book was super helpful especially since I am in high school and everywhere you turn there is a couple. Now a days there is a big pressure to be in a relationship whether you are ready or not. This book explains good times and hardships about being in a relationship as well as how to go about a healthy relationship and what to watch out for.

What is Emotional Virtue Anyway?

I’m going to be perfectly honest and say that before this I had no clue what emotional virtue was, I wondered if it was like emotional chastity, but there is a distinction. Emotional Chastity is not giving away your heart prematurely, while Emotional Virtue is learning to control your emotions as oppose to hiding them or letting them run your life. Sarah puts it plain and simple: “The trick is to learn to harness your emotions and direct them towards the good.” Both Emotional Chastity and Emotional Virtue are important but without Emotional Virtue there is no Emotional Chastity, they go hand and hand harmoniously. Thank you for clearing that one up Sarah!

The Altar Switch…You know the one

This is a person who does not practise a healthy relationship from the start, who parties, dates around and expects a life switch once they get married and to be devoted to one person – a.k.a the Altar Switch a.k.a not a real thing. Sarah expresses the fact that who you want to be starts now. The husband or wife you’ve always dreamed of being starts right now.  This really made me think… and in her normal Sarah Swafford fashion, she has questions she likes to call ‘Real Life’s Big Three.’ This is an excerpt from Sarah’s book: “If you are single, it is hard to not struggle with what I call The 80-20 Problem and It’s Big Three—spending 80% of your time worrying about these three questions:

  1. Who am I going to date and eventually marry?
  2. What is he or she going to do for me and how is he or she going to make me feel?
  3. How good can I look doing it?

Worrying about these 3 questions 80% of the time leaves only 20% of your time to focus on what I call Real Life’s Big Three:

  1. Who do I want to be?
  2. What am I living for?
  3. Who am I living for?

What if we flipped it around? 80% of your energy going towards Real Life’s Big Three, now that’s what I’m talking about!” MIND BLOWN. In this book you never question things without an answer.

The Natural Progression of a Relationship

Sarah Swafford always says to go into a romantic relationship with an end in mind. The purpose of dating is to find someone who you will eventually marry or think is a good candidate for marriage. When this is the case, the relationship goes through a Natural Progression. There are six steps to this natural progression that Swafford describes:

  • Acquaintances
  • Friends/group setting
  • Dating and a Defining the Relationship (DTR)
  • Courting
  • Engagement
  • Marriage

(To learn more about anyone of these steps, pick up Sarah’s book!) This is the Natural Progression of a relationship, yes, but these steps take time! Time is the key in any relationship, God will guide you and will tell you when a relationship is healthy or when it’s not. I personally found this Natural Progression of a Relationship helpful for whenever God decides that I should pursue a romantic relationship, I want to go about it the holy and pure way.

In conclusion, I stand by my opening statement…Sarah Swafford is a genius. The best part about this book is that it’s not just for females! Men would 100% benefit from reading Emotional Virtue. If both women and men understood how each other thought about love, it would save everyone a lot of heartache and pain. Real, authentic love shouldn’t cause you heartache and we only deserve real, authentic love.

You can check out her book here: http://www.emotionalvirtue.com/home/order-book-here/