Why Apathy Doesn't Work
Ever been blown off by a friend or significant other and shrug it off by saying it’s fine? Ever been left alone by a friend and you check your phone to fill the silence? Ever had to wait for a friend to arrive and “look busy” until they get there?
I have. All these scenarios stemmed from my need to not burden anyone. I didn’t want to bother people with my problems because I thought I wasn’t worth the hassle. I don’t know when I internalized that I was a hassle but I think I internalized this when I was a child. These feelings of being a burden came about when my parents would shrug me off because they had more important things to finish, or when my teacher told me to go to my seat because I was asking too many questions.
The fear of being “too much” also came with a need to apologize for everything. I apologized for asking people to drive me home or I would apologize for taking up a friend’s time on the phone. I never wanted to be a “problem” so I came up with a solution. I would play a game with the people in my life and whoever got hurt less won. As you can imagine, this game only had losers because the basis of the game was flawed.
We were made for love and made for community. We are called to be “too much” and to be “problems” because we are meant to serve each other. The main reason for suffering today is indifference and apathy. We are so focused pushing through the crowd, we don’t realize the ten people we pushed down in the process. If you suffer, you are not alone. Whether you are a single mother, or a child who was abandoned, or a widow- it is all suffering and we are not meant to go through this alone.
Caring and risking love are vital to regenerating today’s society. Choose love. Choose honesty. Choose vulnerability.
Even if you get hurt in the process, it is better to be hurt for being authentic and real than to slip past the pain into a wallowing hole of denial and repressed feelings. Sometimes our family, friends or colleagues choose to not care because it seems easier. But apathy cripples our ability to love. Apathy robs us off our human compassion and takes away our capacity to empathize.
When our sense of compassion gets robbed, a part of our humanity becomes numb and void. If we think about the atrocities today: Gaza, Iraq, abortion, suicide, homelessness, depression – they are all instances of suffering where love is the true answer but apathy becomes the band-aid solution.
Why are we apathetic? It’s usually because of resentment and unforgiveness. Let us make this our goal today: Choose love and choose to let go.
Forgive and be forgiven.
Love and be loved.
You are worthy of great love. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.