A Secret Place
By Lisa Logan
One evening some years ago, I was spending some quiet time with Jesus and reflecting on the Word of God. In that moment my heart was bleeding as I had recently gone through a difficult breakup. Jesus gave me the gift of a vision and an understanding that He was walking with me on the road to Emmaus as he walked with his Disciples. My journey with Jesus that evening unfolded as follows:
I was walking through the desert, a very hot and dry place. I was parched and gasping for air, when I noticed someone walking with me. He asked me why I was tired and out of strength. Aghast at his question and very disturbed, I asked him, “are you the only one that does not know the events that have happened recently?” (Luke 24:18). “What events?” he asked inquisitively (Luke 24:19). I told him about the heartbreak, pain and abuse that I had suffered, and how I felt that this pain was not worth continuing on. He said “how foolish you are, and how slow of heart you are to believe!” (Luke 24:25). “Did not the Messiah have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?” (Luke 24:26).
As we walked a bit further, he asked if he could stay at my house, but I did not answer, as I wasn’t sure if I was comfortable with this. I soon realized that this person was Jesus. We continued walking until we came across a house, a damaged house which was for sale. This was my house. It had toilet paper hanging off of it on the outside, cracked windows and broken bricks. Jesus continued to walk but I knew he wanted me to invite him inside my house. I was afraid an embarrassed because a lot of people had come to look at my house but did not want to buy it. “I will buy it!” exclaimed Jesus. “I’ll do anything to buy it, I'll even die for it.” Who would want to die for a house? Who would want to buy a house in this condition? I was confused, but agreed because underneath the damage you could tell the stonework and craftsmanship was nice. Inside, it was empty because a lot of valuable household items were given away or ruined – furniture was destroyed and vases were smashed. Hesitantly, I invited him inside. He seemed to be comfortable in my damaged house and at ease as he sat down at the kitchen table, it looked like he belonged in this house. He asked if I would give him something to eat but I was ashamed that I had nothing to offer. I told him I was only living off scraps the fridge contained as people had come through and ate all of what I had. I told him I had nothing left to offer. He smiled and said confidently, “don’t you know that I fed 5000 with only a few fish and bread? Bring me what you have” (Mt 14:13-21). I brought him my scraps, he gave thanks, we ate and we were full.
He listened intently as I began explaining to him my worries. I told him I felt trapped and embarrassed to have a damaged house, with broken bricks and cracked windows. I told Jesus that even though I was inside this house, I felt lost and paralyzed. I thought to myself, how can you feel lost inside a house of four walls? But I did because I had nowhere to go except these dreadful four walls, and they weren’t comforting. With tears streaming down my face, I continued to tell him my worries, particularly the lack of vision as my lifelong dreams had crumbled before me. Jesus wiped my cheeks, and told me “ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find” (Mt 7:7). He showed me that he was my provider, he would take care of my dreams and desires. As long as He was in my house I had absolutely nothing to worry about. He reassured me that this was the case with every worry that I carried, with every need that I had.
After explaining to him my worries, he looked at me excited, explaining that he couldn’t wait to get to work because the renovators were coming and he was going to be working with them. Jesus began to explain to me with sparkles in his eyes about his vision, “I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious stones,” (Isaiah 54:2). It sounded lovely; the beautiful marble, new walls and paintings, crimson and sapphire that would adorn this inside and outside of the house.
He got up to begin restoring my house, but I became anxious and scared as he was leaving the table, I thought he was leaving me. I didn’t want to be alone in this empty house. He told me that he wouldn’t leave me, he was just getting up to begin the work. But before he began, I asked him timidly but desperately, “what about him Lord?” I was referring to a man who had hurt me in the past. A man that was not able to value my heart. Jesus was full of compassion, and he knew how this weighed on my heart, because it weighed on his. Arm in arm, he brought me to the window in my living room, and moving the curtain we both looked through the cracks. We looked out into the desert, which was the world, and he pointed him out. He was wandering to and fro through the desert without a target. He was walking on the parched desert sand around a tree. The tree was beautiful with succulent fruits which he ate one by one. As he ate the fruit, the tree began to wither, until it was only but a dried up shrub. Jesus explained to me that the tree withered because it did not receive nutrients from the One who provides living water. He showed me that when the tree withers, this man would look back at my house when he became parched. He would look back at the house and thirst for the living water that was inside. Living water was in the house because Jesus lived in my house. I asked Jesus if this man would come back to my house to ask for water, but he didn’t seem concerned for this question. He then began to explain to me my secret place.
He said that my house was my secret place and it would be my choice to let anyone inside. He told me that in the past, I had left the door wide open for people to come and leave as they wished. He showed me that now the door was closed, in order to protect my house. He brought me to my door, showing me the doorknob. He explained that I had free will to turn the doorknob to let in whomever I wished. I knew that Jesus was teaching me the sacredness of my secret place. My secret place was special. It was the place that Jesus lived, and where he rested his feet. He taught me that the reason so much inside was damaged and empty was because I had given much away. He showed me that people of my past had not taken much purposely, but that they simply did not know the value of what they were receiving. They did not know the worth of my belongings. He told me that it was my duty to guard my secret place.
As he was getting ready to get up and begin restoration, he told me not to be scared, that he wasn’t leaving and that I could come to my secret place when I needed to, that he was always there. “Be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Mt 28:20)
Jesus gives us free will to make our own decisions, and to let into our hearts and our life whoever we wish. But he also wants us to use our wisdom to decide whom to let into this secret place. Your secret place is special and can be adorned with precious stones if you only but turn the doorknob and let Jesus inside to live with you.